Jan 27, 2016

The Recap

Later in January, my daughter was born via C-section at UCSF. The experience was not what we had hoped for, but since we had tried so many other methods to turn her, it was not unexpected. And that made it more easily accepted. It was the best for us all. We obviously had a stubborn (where on the earth did she get that from?) child on our hands. From the beginning, it had to be her way.

The first four days in the hospital were hard. I mean, HARD. We weren't getting a proper latch, and because my daughter was born via surgery, my body hadn't gone through the same process as it would have had I given birth naturally. My milk took a few days to come in. I was "convinced" by weekend nursing staff that I needed to try doing a feed of formula as I nursed in order to maintain my baby's acceptable weight decline.

The final nursing nurse we had brought me back from the edge. She said it was all a numbers game, and it didn't matter the circumstances, and that was wrong of them. It had been wrong to make me feel guilty for my milk taking longer to come in. It had been wrong to make me feel guilty for having a C-section, which is part of the reason why my numbers were bloated. Literally. Because I had the IV pumped in me, and essentially, the baby in utero, when my daughter was born she had a lot of water weight. So of course she "lost" more weight post-birth than a baby who was working hard to make it out of the birthing canal over hours.

Tired and still having trouble with the breastfeeding process, when we made it home, I cried. I didn't know how to be a mom. I couldn't even guarantee I could feed my child (although I know in hindsight, I would have gone to formula if things didn't pick up by the first pediatrician visit). Life just got a bazillion times scarier, and more amazing.

But that is all in the past. We all survived. How I don't really know. But that is for another day, and another blog, https://onelittlegirlgrowsup.blogspot.com.

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