Hoping it is not all just trials

There seem to mostly trials in organizing a bi-coastal event with my family. I know it is pricey to fly to California and some people do not like to fly at all (it would take about five days by car). I am planning on a reception and small blessing ceremony of some sort in NJ over Thanksgiving weekend because I do know many of those on the East Coast that we plan to invite to the wedding will not be able to make it West. I hope those that do travel West make the trip into a nice vacation for themselves in addition to spending our big day with us. California is beautiful, and the fall can be one of the nicer times to visit.

Anyway, we are still bouncing around locations and even what month we'd like. Some new ideas I'm considering are a wedding/luncheon reception in SC, a wedding on a yacht in SF Bay during the day, a wedding and reception on a farm, and a wedding at a restaurant. I think at this point I am trying to get the most bang for our bucks while being happy with the location and date. And the more I keep searching for the ideal combination, the more nervous and frustrated I get. My vision of the Big Day continues to evolve with what I can afford, what I imagined it would look like, and what my fiancé wants. The proposed NJ plan will be much simpler. I would like a short Buddhist blessing (nothing long or "legal" since we'll already be married then) and a casual reception in my hometown church's hall, featuring Italian subs and pizza. :-)

There are few things I do know: I want a wedding. I don't want to just go to City Hall (even though the building is beautiful) because it is really one of the more economical ways to get married. I want there to be dancing. I don't really need a DJ or a band (although I think it would be cool to walk down the aisle to an instrumental version of Tom Petty's "Here Comes My Girl"); I just need an amp to hook the iPod to and maybe a microphone for announcements. I want cake. I am not a big fan of most flowers, but I like yellow and red hybrid tulips. I only need a few for a bouquet though. I will wear blue shoes (need to begin the search for those).

People keep saying to plan the day to please us not the people we invite. But it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Things I didn't think would be a problem are. Like, what if we pick a date and place, and nobody can make it?